life@work

Careful With Those Office Romances

This post was contributed by Heather Johnson, who writes on the subject of human resource manager. She invites your feedback at heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.

Love is in the air, your head tells you that it’s wrong, but your heart thinks otherwise. A covert look, an open smile, a few flirtatious glances, a stolen kiss, and before you know it, you’re in a full-blown office romance. While it’s hard to control yourself when it comes to matters of the heart, there are few basic rules you need to observe if the person you’re seeing works with you, simply because things could get awkward or even downright when the affair sours and things don’t work out. 

• Make sure the other person reciprocates your feelings so you’re not embarrassed or slapped with a sexual harassment suit. If it’s a one-sided affair, let it go at the earliest and move on instead of constantly badgering the other person to reconsider their feelings.

• Hold the affair close to your heart, literally. Do not show your affection for each other openly or tell everyone you know that you’re seeing each other. I know that being in love (or even in lust) makes you want to do crazy things like shouting your feelings from the rooftop, but believe me, it’s best to stay quiet about the whole affair. 

• Behave professionally at all times, even when things are at their most passionate between the two of you. It’s exciting to lock eyes or sneak off for a stolen kiss, but always keep the repercussions in mind before you act hastily.

• Don’t let your romance get in the way of your work. Love and sex are heady feelings no doubt, but you’re only going to ruffle more than a few feathers if you’re seen to be shirking work and sneaking around setting up trysts with each other. 

• It’s not easy to talk of breaking up just when you’ve got together, but you have to be rational and discuss the issue of separation and how you both are going to deal with it. If a few ground rules are laid down, like the fact that you need to be civil to each other if things don’t work out and must avoid trashing each other once you’ve split, you can make sure your work and career are not affected too much.

• If you’re seeing someone who’s your superior, think twice because if things go wrong on the personal front, there’s a high probability that he/she may want to get back at you in the workplace using his/her position.

• Make sure your personal lives and your work lives stay separate; do not let disputes related to work spill over into your personal relationship and vice versa.   

• Some workplaces frown on office romances but usually ignore them as long as productivity is not affected, but there are others where there are specific rules against dating people on a different hierarchical level. Make sure you’re not flouting the rules and going against authority in indulging in an affair.            

• Office romances are sometimes a double-edged sword that you have trouble getting out of and trouble staying in – you know it’s time to move on, but the fear of the fall out affecting your career makes you put up with a bad relationship for longer than you should.

Photo by aussiegall

How to Work from Home

I work for myself from a home office, and I love it.

Most of the time.

I love the flexibility and the commute (about 15 feet). There are a few downsides (no paid benefits, kids pilfer stapler) and a few challenges that I am always working on (such as what exactly are my work hours, and the ups and downs of varying cash flow.)

I know a lot more people would like to be working from home, and there are a lot of scams out there, so I recommend this helpful article from CareerJournal  about websites for at-home jobs.

Virtual assistants and freelancers are two of the most popular job options. Naturally there are plenty of opportunities to make cold calls, and many of the jobs are part-time and not high-paying. But the article offers useful places to start your research for an at-home work option that's right for you.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Is There Such a Thing as Online Privacy?

How much personal information should we be sharing on the Internet?

This is a hot issue for me right now, largely because of these issues:

1. Recently I returned from a 20-day road trip through California with my husband and two daughters. I didn't write about this before I left, because my mother taught me never to announce on the Internet when my house was going to be vacant (!)
2. While we were on the road I decided to set up a vacation blog and used Jott to record short posts to it. I sent the blog's URL only to a few friends and family members who I thought might be interested. I didn't think you would care very much about how I thought the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland is really well done or how we didn't go to Big Sur after all because it was on fire.
3. I have a Facebook account, but use my personal email with it. I'm using it only occasionally, just for personal reasons. I know I could use Facebook for professional purposes too, but I'm not sure whether I want to or what I would offer.
4. I joined Twitter just because all the cool kids are doing it and I was curious. I now don't know what to tweet, or who I want following me, or who I want to follow. Should I talk only about work? What about that tweet I did about how my seven year-old was annoying me?

So in a nutshell I'm pondering these questions, and I'm wondering whether you are too:

• How transparent do I want to be on the Internet?
• Can I separate personal expression from professional expression and have separate audiences - the personal and the professional?

As a career coach, I of course recommend that job seekers find and remove as best they can any of their "digital dirt" in case hiring managers are snooping around online and considering all information they encounter.

Many people believe that this practice isn't justifiable, that it is digging around in people's private lives that have nothing to do with their job qualifications.

But this view begs the question - is there such a thing as privacy online?

The issue of online privacy or lack thereof is hot right now, and I know there are a number of different takes on it. I'm interested in yours.

• Do you separate personal expression from professional?
• Do you maintain as much anonymity as you can?
• What level of transparency online are you comfortable with and why?

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Using LinkedIn to Connect With Me

Recently I angered a blog reader by something I did on LinkedIn.

He invited me to connect with him on LinkedIn, and because I do not know him, I declined his invitation. I use LinkedIn only to connect with people I already know in person or online. Early on when I accepted some invitations from people I didn't know, I found that I never knew what to do with my new contacts who were complete strangers in radically different industries.

The gentleman sent me an email telling me that because I declined his invitation, LInkedIn has locked down his account. He's angry and has decided to stop reading this blog as a result.

I sincerely apologized - I had no idea that account lock downs happen on LinkedIn. This seems pretty harsh - just because I don't know someone and don't wish to connect doesn't mean that I think I should be able to click a button and lock them out of LinkedIn. I have no idea if this is a temporary inconvenience for him or a permanent state.

He suggested that I change my settings so that you have to know my email address to connect. I've done this, but I also realize that I publish my email address on my blog and on my business website. It ain't exactly privileged information.

So FYI, if you'd like to connect with me on LinkedIn and I already have spoken with you, please invite me. And if I don't know you, I will simply ignore your request and not click on the "I don't know this person" button!

I invite you instead to email me directly at the address below.

If anyone out there with more LinkedIn savvy than me has any additional tips about accepting and declining invitations, please add them here.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

A Plug for More Cheering in the Workplace

Photo by artfulblogger

I was reminded yesterday of the power of applause and cheering when I attended my daughters' annual ballet performance.

The show was in a real auditorium, with a backstage, costumes, lighting effects, flowers for the dancers, a curtain call - the works. It's a very exciting setting for the kids, and the mood is upbeat and fun rather than restrained.

The audience was asked to clap, cheer, hoot and holler whenever we saw something we liked. You can imagine the noise in the theater when the first group of four year-olds came out to do their number.

Whether the kids were four, fourteen or somewhere in between, whenever we would applaud or whistle, you could feel the energy swell and see the dancers beaming. We were encouraging them and showing our appreciation clearly, and they were responding with light hearts and their best work.

When was the last time someone clapped and cheered for you? Didn't you feel glorious and excited? Most likely you were playing a sport or performing in some kind of show.

You probably weren't at work.

A standing ovation is not what typically happens in the American workplace, but we do want to know somehow in some way that we are noticed and valued for the good work that we do.

Unfortunately many managers are bad at the skill of giving positive feedback. They don't know how, or they don't think it's important, or they think that kudos should be rationed like sugar in WWII.

But sincere and meaningful feedback is cheap to produce and takes very little time to provide. If you supervise people and you can't remember the last time you told your team something positive about their performance, do it today. If you work for someone who is stingy with feedback, ask for it.

My kids love to dance and would do it even if they didn't get applause. But during a stressful event such as performing on stage in front of several hundred people, the applause is just the boost of encouragement they need to relax and enjoy themselves.

Just because we've grown up doesn't mean we've outgrown our tendency to shine when we're appreciated.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Networking How-To's You May Not Have Heard Much About

Many of my clients are confused by, scared of, or too busy for networking.

Is this you? Is simply saying the word "networking" enough to create a small (or large) feeling of dread?

Here's a great tips list by Debra Feldman on Career Hub about how to network purposefully. She offers specific and varied ideas - surely there is at least one of these you can put into play immediately.

I challenge you!

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

What To Do When You're the Newbie

When you were a kid, were you ever the "new kid"?

When you were the new kid, did you immediately join in and assert yourself, or did you hang back for a bit to get the lay of the land?

Even if you never had to join a new 4th grade class in the middle of the year or change high schools after sophomore year, you've probably been the "new kid" at work many times.

How do you do "new" well? Sarah E. Needleman of CareerJournal.com has these tips:

Meet your peers in advance.

You get insights into the culture, discover how communication works, and show that you're interested in learning from your colleagues.

Don't be a know-it-all.

Even if you've been in this line of work for a bazillion years, you still have things to learn at this new job. Listen more than you talk - you'll learn more and you'll come across more favorably.

Be diplomatic about your prior employer.

You have no idea whose best friend is your former CEO's sister, so avoid criticizing your past employer or divulging proprietary information about them.

Sign up for extra projects - within reason.

Balance is key here. You want to differentiate yourself without going overboard.

Ask for feedback.

Start with once a week for the first month, then reduce that to one or twice a month. You want to stay in touch with your boss' expectations.

Build your network.

Get to know people throughout the company and search for a mentor. Don't forget to stay in touch with your existing contacts.

After 90 days, make longer term goals.

You've gotten the lay of the land and should set longer term goals and share them with your boss.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Five Steps to a Graceful Resignation

This post is contributed by Heather Johnson, who regularly writes on the topic of career exploration. She invites your questions and writing job opportunities at her personal email address: heatherjohnson2323@gmail.com.

Those of us who have been in the workforce for a while have certainly burnt a bridge or two. If you have in the past, let it go and try not to repeat the mistake. Resigning from a position should be done properly, as you certainly want the reference and you will never know how an ungraceful exit will come back to haunt your career.

Follow the five steps below and you should maintain your business contacts with dignity. 

   1. Make the choice

Congratulations, you have decided to quit your job! Or have you? Sometimes, we have bad weeks or even months at our jobs. You need to seriously consider whether or not this is the right decision. If you are miserable, a change is certainly in order. However, sometimes things temporarily seem worse than they are. If you are certain you want to leave, then proceed to the next step.

2. Hatch Your Escape Plan

For some of us, quitting a job really is an escape. However, just like escaping from prison, you need to time your resignation correctly. Do you have another job offer right now or the means to support yourself until you find another position? If you are supporting a family, then you will certainly want to line up some options before you leave.

3. Give Notice

Two weeks is the standard length for a resignation notice. You are certainly not obligated to work for longer than that, so do not allow your boss to bully you into staying longer than you intended. This notice should, however, be offered in the form of a typed resignation letter. Keep it classy and do not focus on any negative aspects of your job.

4. Ask for a Reference

If you have been graceful so far, your superior(s) should have no problem with offering you a letter of recommendation. It is best to have this in hand before you leave, as it looks great to future employers and your boss may not even remember you a year from now.

5. Settle Any Loose Ends

Do you have a key to the office or anything else you need to return? Perhaps you have a 401K or unused vacation time you can cash in on. Do not forget to settle up with human resources before you walk out the door for the last time.

By making a smooth and drama-free exit from your position, you will save yourself a lot of trouble in the long run. Even if you are leaving one of the worst jobs imaginable, you are doing yourself a disservice by burning a bridge and losing the reference. After all, you paid your debts to society and should reap the benefits by gracefully taking your leave.   

Career Change One Baby Step at a Time

Photo by bobmarley753

If you're feeling overwhelmed thinking about a career change, you're not alone.

You may be feeling pressure to find the "perfect" job, the one that is absolutely better than what you're doing now, the one that is completely aligned with your purpose on this planet.

You may be assuming that there is probably only one or possibly two of these jobs in existence, so you better get cracking, and you better make the right decision.

This is all in addition to the pressure you may be feeling about changing jobs during a recession.

I'd like to offer an alternative view. What if the next job only has to be a step closer to your purpose on the planet? What kind of relief from the pressure could you experience then?

Career change usually is achieved through a series of steps, such as education, volunteering, part-time work, freelancing, and/or full-time employment.

I like what career and life coach Annemarie Segaric has to say on the topic of your next job in this article: "It doesn't have to be perfect."

Losing the pressure to choose perfectly does introduce a new pressure, however - to do something. My basic philosophy on doing something:

Dream big. Yet plan very small steps to get there.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

How to Get the Coolest Jobs

Alexandra Levit, author, career consultant and blogger, has written a cool book about cool jobs.

Even if you're already established in a career, aren't you curious about what it takes to be an art curator, image consultant, travel journalist or computational linguist? Don't you want to know what a computational  linguist is in the first place?

In How'd You Score That Gig? A Guide to the Coolest Jobs and How to Get Them, Alexandra describes what it takes to break into 60 different careers.

First you take a quiz (I love quizzes!) to figure out your "passion profile":

• The Adventurer
• The Creator
• The Data Head
• The Entrepreneur
• The Investigator
• The Networker
• The Nurturer

Each profile features 8-10 jobs. Alexandra describes what each job entails, how to enter the field, how competitive the industry is, and in some cases, how much it pays.

What I especially appreciate about this book are its focus on jobs you don't normally read about in career reference books and its up-to-date links to resources. I also enjoy the conversational writing style and the interviews with people who are currently doing the jobs.

Alexandra has obviously thoroughly researched each of these careers and doesn't hesitate to share the possible downsides. I like this too.

Whether you're just graduating from college or are considering a career change after a number of years on the job, this book is a helpful guide that you'll actually enjoy reading!

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com